who knew?

ok so some of you have commented that my last post wasn't exactly the feel-good-post-of-the-year. i appreciate your kind words and support, so i thought i'd post something a little more uplifting.

sunday i joined peak fitness. (when you stop laughing i'll continue)...

waiting...

...ahem

anyway, i got up this morning at went to the gym at 5am. crazy i know! but i enjoyed it. besides a little tightening in my calves, i'm feeling pretty good. because celeste inspires me with her pictures i thought i'd share this one.

its a real book too. i'm not really moving anywhere, but its for the visual effect.

karma, is that you?

more times than i care to recount, i've been on the receiving end of the "let's just be friends conversation". its probably one of my least favorite things in the whole world. but now, there is something even further down on the list--being the one to have to say it. it sucks. i can't be sure that all of the boys that have handed me the 'just friends' card in years past have gone through the emotional torment that i have, being the dealer this time. but having to tell someone that is a genuinely nice person, that despite their wonderful qualities, that you just dont see a dating relationship in the future is... its... ugh, it just makes me so sad. i feel like such a jerk. i hate confrontation in general. just ask tlmc. we avoided conflict until it was painful. so im wondering if me being sad is bad karma? or if its just because im over sensitive?

on top of all that, last night i replied to my grandmother's 8th email of the day (the family regrets teaching her how to use a computer) warning me of the "life is beautiful virus [via powerpoint]", which followed the email asking me to put my name on the list and copy and paste the email and send it to all my friends for a 'kid's project for school', which came just an hour after the 'beware of lipstick that contain lead' email. i felt compelled to tell her that none of that stuff was true, i sent her a link to snopes.com and told her that we appreciated that she cared about us, our hard drives and the kid's school project so much, but that 99% of what she sends us just isn't true.

so now i feel like heather stewart--dream crusher. i deserve to be stoned to death. now i know why so many people lie, its much less painful.

cinders and ashes

so i’ve been catching a lot of flack for being such a slack poster. project optimism has even cleverly been renamed ‘project neverposting’ be tee. what can i say, i’m bland and boring. i do have a new favorite website. what did we do before we couldn’t know everything whenever we wanted? i am pretty excited about the new kicks though. cute and comfy (well as cute as can be expected on a hall where everyone else but me wears scrubs everyday).

i continue to enjoy my new job. eventually you don’t even notice the screams from young children down the hall getting their early childhood immunizations. i don’t suppose you never get used to hearing gossip about how the owner of the local italian restaurant is getting treated for tuberculosis. no one here eats there anymore.

sunday afternoon while i was demonstrating my keen procrastinating skills, i stopped on tnt to watch die hard with a vengeance. samuel l. jackson and bruce willis are so badass. my favorite part was definitely enjoying the creative ways they (whoever ‘they’ are) had dubbed over the movie’s ‘too obscene for network tv’ lingo. my favorite being the several times that samuel refered to bruce as a “white racist melon farmer”. melon farmer! ha! still makes me laugh. what a nicer place the world would be if people would use words like that. hats off to thomas the tank engine for providing me with my second favorite set of by-words, ‘cinders and ashes’. next time you want to express your extreme dissatisfaction with a person or situation, try one of those on for size.

things that make you go hmmm...?

so the first full week at the new job was great. i really heart it there. and i got word on friday that they are going to paint my purple cave sometime next week. i do miss having a window and i'll definitely be investing in some comfortable and practical shoes soon. working in the communicable disease clinic part of the health department has resulted in some very interesting conversations. i imagine that most people dont get to hear what i hear on a daily basis. let me share a few examples.

scene one: front desk, in broken english/spanish
nurse: "and your social security number ma'am?"
patient: [something in spanish]
nurse: "oh you dont have one, no problem"

scene two: std pre-test counseling session
me: "do you have a primary or main partner"
patient: "yeah i'm married"
me: "how many partners have you had in the last 6 months?"
patient: "um, like at least 4 maybe"
me: "are your partners male, female or both?"
patient: "umm... both"
me: "do you use protection?"
patient: "uhh if i did, would i be here?"

i think my favorite part of my job is definitely going to be working at stonewall jackson youth development center. i'll be there about 10 hours a week, doing hiv/std prevention programming, tutoring and mentoring. they remind me a lot of my stepbrother (rip). very different from the kids at north meck, or you fancy science and math school kids. they may have sorted pasts, but they just want some positive attention. i think its cool.

i should also mention that tuesday is single people's oppression day. celebrate by wearing all black, drink yourself silly with your other single friends and of course, make snide comments to your annoyingly in love friends.

thats all i can muster for now. the crappy winter weather is sucking the will to create right out of me.

crash

so clearly i scandalized the blogging community, or at least the 3 of you, when i mentioned said "cute boy" in my last post. lest anyone be deceived that a nice, decent, guy actually be interested in me, said "cute boy" will hereby be referred to as "mean boy 562986" in that the day following his chivalrousness, he sent an email professing his undying disinterest. fear not, i will return to being the same boring, old spinster that you know and heart.

im still trying to pick myself up. as you could imagine. friday was quite a high for me. and somewhere around 6:30pm yesterday i crashed, hard. against the advisement of tlmc and at the astonishment of celeste, i was able to pull myself together and compose a brief and rather genial email, thanking mean boy 562986 for his time and his honesty and wishing him well. it did go through several drafts, which celeste pointed out where the real healing is. tlmc thought that i should go with anger, a much healthier emotion in her opinion, but its just not one im really able to tap into. and then she said the sweetest thing, "if a person is going to have a flaw, being nice is probably the best one to have". and tlmc probably knows me better than anyone, so that meant a lot.

im determined to get my taxes done today, with the help of turbo tax, figure out how to take back what is mine. i will allow myself one frivolous purchase, and the rest goes in savings. i'm thinking this might have to be a new dvd player, seeing as i dont think i get as much out of my new workout video when i have to stop 5 times to reset it.

on with the day.

currently listening: fiona apple, extraordinary machine

a good day to live

of course, everyone wants to know about my first day at the new job. it was great! :) the nice nurses in the cd (communicable disease) department made me a cake. it said "welcome heather" on it in green gel icing. my lilac office was decorated with homemade welcome signs, construction paper figurines and a basket of condoms and candy, of course (its an std clinic, what do you expect?). the occasional stranger from across the building would come over and say "oh you must be the new girl, i heard there was cake". the biggest surprise was finding that one of my christmas cards (the cute ones with murray on them) was taped to the front of my door with a speech bubble sign saying "hope you like the color purple". i sent becky, cd nurse/case manager, whom i know from my old job, a christmas card, and she put it on my door to make me feel at home. aww.

this morning i dutifully made a lunch to take with me, but found out i had to attend a 'health initiatives team' meeting and they had it catered with yummy salads from o'charleys. over lunch i realized that one of the women in the meeting looked strangely familiar. we had gone to daycare together probably 15-20 years ago. once i confirmed her identity, she said "oh my gosh we used to have sleepovers at your house". man, what a small world.

the other highlight of my day was getting a tb test. not everyone gets a shot on their first day at a new job. i hope i pass, we should know on monday.

after my fun filled first day, i was delighted at my 17 minute commute home (better than the hour from my previous job). and the fun didnt end there. in the midst of recounting my fun day to several buddies on im, i got a phone call from a cute boy standing at my door to surprise me with flowers. he took me to dinner.

it was a good day. :)

sugar and spice

i've recently learned that my readership is much larger than my precious commenters. a shout out to my fans who haven't yet graced us with their comments. kristin friend in the windy city, or should i say "big gastonia", lauren hill proudly in blue heaven, heath cartee who protects the city of pleasant living, and there's ian, lane and whoever else is out there.

sunday i visited my grandfolk in clover, sc. i found out something a little disturbing. my great grandmother got married when she was 14 and great uncle lacy came only a year later. eek! my grandmother got married at 16, and of course my mom got married at 18. i am severely under-performing. to this, i say- oh well.

last night was eventful. i actually went out. i know, and on a week night? *gasp* thats ok, i'm sure my social life is about to come to a screeching halt once the new jobs starts, friday. :)
so peyton, from my old job, invited me to go to cabo fish taco for dinner and then to see her roommate play at the evening muse. i feel bad because peyton asks me to go out with her like every week and i always say no, its usually places not really my style. so being a big fan of cabo and the muse, i agreed to go. she aslo said "bring whoever" (trying to pack the house so her roommate can pay rent, no doubt). i invited kristina and tripp. kristina sadly couldn't make it, she's a teacher, they have a lot of shit to do. tee nat whined because he was afraid he was going to be the only boy there and not know anyone. i assured him that the only person i knew was peyton and told him not to be afraid of strangers. well, scott (from the band) joined us for dinner but had to peace out early. somewhere around the third el cheapo margarita (no really, thats what its called) tee nat realized that he was sitting with 5 cute females. it most definitely looked like a meeting of the tee nat fan club, to which he commented "i wish everyone i knew would walk in right now". the conversation was lively, from ultrasound machines and gyno's to insulin pumps and choo choo trains (one of the girls, amy, she's a train conductor, but she was a little scary). by the end of the night leigh and peyton were practically begging tee nat to go a cruise with them in may. he's such a pimp.

so today is the first day of february. crazy huh? i think im going to do my taxes today, you know, make myself feel important. oh and if anyone has a graphing calculator lying around, can i borrow it? i need one for class. i haven't seen mine in years, but i'd rather not spend $100 on one. ok, and brrr, its cold outside. i think its time for my morning nap.

ciao!

addendum

in a conversation with tlmc, i realized that i had left out some rather odd facts about myself. feel free to substitute these for any of the more boring ones in the last post.

a. i had my first real kiss in a church, i was 15, he was 19. he became my first boyfriend
b. i have a serious superman fetish
c. i have a thing for red headed boys
d. i dont like peanut butter or popcorn
e. i find it very attractive when boys wear toboggans
f. i believe that is important to name inanimate objects, like my car, 'twink', or tlmc's car, 'the sex pistol'
g. i had my first drink of scotch when i was 3
h. i joined udoc, just for the scholarship money
i. my indian name is 'little princess running water'
j. i have a birthmark on my butt

ha, how about them apples
any better?

copy cat

100 things you never wanted to know about me.

1. i totally stole this from celeste
2. i'm not really very creative
3. i'm tone deaf too
4. i have a lot of creative/artsy friends
5. i've been in 8 weddings
6. none of which, were my own
7. however, i've been proposed to 3 times
8. i'm glad none of those worked out
9. tlmc and i almost qualified for common law marriage
10. i miss her
11. i am an only child
12. but i wasn't spoiled
13. i was almost named after a famous clemson football coach (but then i was born a girl)
14. frank howard called me francis until he died
15. i won 4th place in the state science fair in 6th grade
16. i practiced pavlov's conditioning on goldfish
17. i went to jim and tammy bakker's high school
18. the one year i was a cheerleader, we weren't allowed to go to competition because our skirts were too short
19. i was student council president my jr. and sr. years
20. 95% of the guys i have dated have 4 letter names
21. a lot of my early boyfriends shared names with the authors of the new testament, matthew, mark, luke, john and paul
22. that kind of creeps me out
23. my first job ever was a ymca camp counselor
24. my favorite job ever was a demo chef for calphalon cookware
25. i like to piddle in the kitchen
26. i grow my own herbs, the legal kind
27. i have a red mailbox
28. i have owned 3 volkswagens
29. i have never had a cavity
30. i brush my teeth at least 3 times a day
31. i find this a little ocd
32. but i believe oral hygiene is important
33. the week before i got my braces off, i broke my nose playing softball (age, 15)
34. i am not a big fan of snow skiing
35. i grew up in south charlotte, near lake wylie
36. i still live in charlotte, just the other side of town
37. my family is famous for its fried chicken
38. i only started eating tomatoes a year or so ago
39. i still dont like mushrooms or olives
40. cheese is my t-total favoritest food
41. i believe all other foods are just a vehicle by which cheese can be delivered
42. i went through a phase when i was about 6 years old where all i wanted to eat was hotdogs and spinach
43. i still heart spinach
44. i am the first person on my dad's side of the family to graduate from college
45. my dad's parents are affectionately known as "maw maw and paw paw"
46. on valentines day, they'll celebrate their 65 anniversary
47. i think that is pretty impressive
48. my mom won a prize in a photo contest for time life magazine for a picture of my dad and i on the beach
49. that picture is sitting on my dresser
50. my bedroom furniture is over 150 years old
51. i heart it
52. my great, great grandfather made it
53. fall is my favorite season
54. i dont like salty foods
55. i dont drink coke (read:soda)
56. i am very sensitive to caffeine
57. but i have a weakness for sweet tea
58. i am very allergic to cigarette smoke
59. i dont really have much of a temper
60. an ex of mine broke up with me because i was "too nice"
61. i'm never dating another marine
62. i think thunderstorms are sexy
63. my favorite physical features of boys are shoulders and smiles
64. i too, have danced on the bar in charlotte
65. tlmc was usually with me
66. i stood on a table in ri ra on my 21st birthday and led the crowd in singing happy birthday to me.
67. i thought i was something
68. in college, tlmc and i thought all boys should have nicknames, my favorites were thugalicious and fuckface
69. during the holidays, i wrote "ho ho ho" with christmas lights in the windows of our campus apartment
70. i got a busted lip from jim maxwell (who now plays for the san francsico 49ers) during a snowball fight
71. i blame celeste for wasting my morning
72. i would like to meet her someday
73. my dad would like me to move to atl
74. its a little out of my price range
75. and i dont have enough equity to make it worth it
76. and i'm just getting my house the way i really want it (after 3 years)
77. murray is a funny dog
78. he was a "get over your bad break-up present" from luke
79. i heart murray
80. i am nervous and excited about starting my new job next week
81. my new office is painted purple
82. that is not my favorite color
83. i'm not really a fan of pink either
84. i think my favorite colors are blue and green
85. and orange, of course
86. but i mostly wear black
87. i'm not goth or emo or anything
88. i just find that black is easy, it requires little thought
89. my car matches my dog
90. my first concert was new kids on the block
91. my second was aerosmith and four non-blondes
92. i am not a fan of country music
93. i named my ipod 'lil lil guy'
94. when i was a kid a lot of my stuff came from ll bean and i called it 'lil lil bean'
95. i believe i've been making this list for over an hour
96. i'm sorry im not cool like celeste and putting in a lot of links
97. i think t-nat should make a list
98. i doubt tlmc will, she's a busy girl
99. i have something that i need to take back to the uncc library by 11am
100. ha, i'm done, sweeeeeeeet

wow, ok, so yeah, that was a lot harder than i thought it would be. maybe i'm just a boring person.

celebrate

happy birthday mozart!

supposedly davidson college is having a concert tonight and it will end with everyone singing happy birthday to the dead guy and a big cake with 250 candles.

better than rain

today i took my drug test for my new job. its hard to pee in a cup with someone watching. that was not fun. i am getting really excited about the job though, but its going to be hard to give up all of this freedom. i start next friday, 2/3. and all of a sudden i'm realizing that i haven't done all of the home improvement projects i wanted to get done on my little vacation. why did i have to be so damn ambitious?

tlmc's post about how boys don't like smart girls came true in vivid color tonight. i was watching abc around 8:45pm (so as not to miss even the first second of lost) and on whatever new goobery show they have on now, one of the characters actually said:

"who would want to date a smart girl anyway? they're too much work. let's say you put your hand on a smart girl's ass, she's going to start asking you all sorts of annoying questions like 'why the hell is your hand on my ass?' whereas if you put your hand on a dumb girl's ass and tell her you want to be an astronaut, bam! you're in".

sigh.

on a more encouraging note, im feeling more and more empowered everyday. its coming out in little ways. i finished a book, i've officially rid myself of one very unhealthy relationship, i confronted someone who was getting on my nerves and i recently told someone who asked me to do something for them, no. oh and i'm making some new friends. ;)

those of you have known me a while will appreciate this story. a dear friend of mine, aaron parker, called me today. he and his partner keith recently bought a house together and were out celebrating at eddie's neighborhood bar. while they were there aaron noticed an um, old boyfriend of mine, paul (aka pinochipaul or rumplestiltspaul) working in the kitchen. despite paul's best efforts to avoid eye contact, aaron eventually said, "hey paul, remember me from g-dubb? i was good friends with heather". aaron said that all of the blood drained out of paul's face. so aaron, being the good friend he is said "yeah too bad you didnt marry her, she's doing awesome, she's hot and loaded". i love having gay guy friends.

random: there is a new movie coming out and its about gastonia, nc. go figure.

yay for the new job!

wow, ok so i managed to not go bankrupt during unemployment, but did almost wet my pants when they called and offered me the job today. that was possibly the most nerve-racking time ever. will post more later, but for now, i'm taking myself out to dinner.

please sir can i have some more

so for now, being unemployed still kinda feels like a long weekend. i am making a concerted effort to a.) get out of bed before 8am, b.)bathe and dress, c.)leave the house for at least 3 hours and d.)not take a nap. so far so good. i think this weekend i start on the virtually endless number of hgtv projects. ex-work only called 4 times today, so i think they're figuring it out. my strategy, if they leave something i feel they really can't figure out if they try, i'll call back, late, and leave some vague idea on the voicemail. if its just pleading, yeah, they get nothing. good news today though. interview (scroll down to "program coordinator 1") on monday. very excited. we'll see.

in other news, the new roommate, mccamy is getting married sometime (date subject to the whim of them), she officially asked me to be a bridesmaid. sigh. 100 times a bridesmaid, never a bride. although i do have to say the dress does qualify as one of the favorite of the other dozen or so that are um (to steal from celeste) *fakecoughsoakedinchampagneandwaddedupinthefloorofmycloset*. yeah. i think the price is a little stiff, so hopefully tlmc will agree to have the same one. because lets face it "its cute, and something you can wear again" is something that all brides tell their maids just so they dont feel so guilty about making their poor, unemployed friends spend $240.00 for the pleasure of being in their wedding-see fake cough line above). its kinda hard, im not a good enough person to live with someone who is planning a wedding and who has a serious princess complex about it. im just not sympathetic at all. and ok, im a little bitter. im trying to realize that this is just a test of resolution #5.

other bummed out purchase of the week. yeah dont be jealous.

*deep breath*

with the encouragement of tlmc i did make one redeeming purchase. *giggles*

now singing

because im cool like that

ok so i'm totally giving into peer pressure. and now that i have free time on my hands i feel like i can waste a little here and there. i present... nothing you ever wanted to know about me.

4 jobs you've (i've) had in my life (as opposed to someone else's?)
camp counselor
demo chef
sales lead (read:assistant manager for this fine company)
program coordinator
.... does superhero count? i think that's more my lifelong career.

4 places i've lived
charlotte, nc (3 different addresses)
boiling springs, nc (2 different dorms)
huntersville, nc
... really, thats it.

4 movies i could watch over and over again
phantom of the opera
rent (is there a pattern?)
french kiss
princess bride

4 t.v. shows i heart
food 911
how to boil water (again with the pattern)
good eats (different pattern)
lost

4 places i've been on vacation
kona, hawaii
destin, fl
hilton head
mashantucket, ct

4 places i surf to daily
cash flow
job hunting
duh
oh fug it all

4 favorite foods
cheese (all kinds)
chocolate
anything mexican
spinach

4 places i'd rather be right this minute
on the way to cash my winning lottery ticket
on the couch with tlmc
in bed
here: (yeah, i took that picture for real, in hawaii)

for my fans

so here i am, the eve of my first day of official unemployment (today was a holiday and most people were off so i'm not counting it). a lot has happened since my last post. we'll start with work, my last week at work was pretty rough. i put in a solid 65 hours. the thursday before my last day i worked from 7am until almost midnight. the next day i got in an argument with a co-worker and i told her to drop it that i wasn't going to take it, i said my good-byes and peaced out. for now i've lined up quite a few well-paying babysitting jobs and managed to get a lot of good feedback from some personal, professional contacts i've made the past few years. so here's to feeling optimistic!

i spent the weekend in altanta, it was a nice retreat. surrounded by quasi-family (dad's girlfriend and her fam), i celebrated, relaxed, and played. there was wine and chocolate and some fabulous italian cooking. they want me to move there. hmmm?

after my post on tuesday, jan. 10. i began to feel much stronger, at least in my battles with men anyway. i even considered swearing off physical and emotional attachments to men in general, especially new interests. one of the mentioned, "type 1" examples realized he had been named. i felt badly, but only for a second. since he's been mysteriously polite and not all sex-pursuing (at least not with me) lately. one of the mentioned "type 2" i had, since the post, cut off from all communication, until today when he emailed to say that he wasn't really sleeping the 43 year old woman, that he only told me he was as a joke, but they were "dating" (this is a creepy relationship for more than the age thing, she's the mother of the special needs kids he works with). oh and he didnt apologize, he just said that the sleeping together part was a joke, i replied, "wow, that joke really turned out to be not so funny".

i dont know where all this self assuredness is coming from, but it feels nice to have it back.

i do want to give an update on my resolutions.
#1. make financially responsible decisions--definitely in progress. i haven't paid for a meal out in 6 days, i think that's a good start.
#2. find a new job--working on this one too. i sent out 11 applications last week.
#3. realize that i am not defined by my job--this is easier now that i dont have one.
#4. volunteering--check! i even got invited to be on the foundation for the carolinas emerging philanthropist board *grins*
#5. realize i am not defined by relationship status--this is a daily battle, but i'm feeling more encouraged.
#6. wash my face every night before bed--so far have only failed to this twice, and it was when i felt really crappy (one night i cried all my make-up off, does that count?)
#7. spend more time reading than watching tv--so far so good, i dont know the exact ratio, but its definitely better than it was.
#8. learn to stand up for myself and say no--i think friday paula was a little surprised when i told her to forget it when she made a stubborn last request before i left.
#9. be more physically active--um, does walking in heals count?
#10. make new friends--i did flirt with the waiter at aspens in alt and i came within about 10 hours of meeting celeste.

volunteering starts tomorrow, i'm helping out my friend amelia in her classroom. i guess i should be getting to bed. ttfn.

for celeste

this is the only man i will allow myself to be emotionally attached to, at least for a while.

this is the first day that murray was home. at least now he doesn't pee in the house.

i dont understand... the start of a revolution

im so frustrated, i dont even know where to start. ive been fumbling over the words to this post for hours now. and this is all i have. friday is my last day at the this job and i want to walk away and never look back. i dont understand why boys are so mean and hateful. spent probably a grand total of 3 or 4 hours on the phone with tlmc last night, mostly just me sobbing, wondering why my life is falling apart. aside from work and my relationship with my mom and everything else, mims comforted me by concluding that there are two types of boys. type 1, we will call lane or travis: this is the most common type, only interested in sex, will exhibit manipulative behavior to get what he wants. failure to comply results in pouting, arguing or insulting indifference. out of a desire for attention or to feel wanted, women will sometimes engage in the "game" whether or not they comply with the ultimate request. type 2, the casey or jason: this type is quick to develop a "friendship" based on the female's ability to satisfy some type of emotional or intellectual need for the male. if the female mentions that she is interested in more than a platonic friendship, the male often responds in a way that while masked by the appearance of noble sincerity, is ultimately heart breaking. the "i just want to be friends" card. this roughly translates means "i want to sleep with other people (i.e. 18 or 43 year olds), without any emotional attachment and continue to exploit you and your feelings for me to meet my needs".

my eyes are swollen and burning from last night's sobfest. i plan to muster up all my energy and make some new resolutions... later. for now i will drown myself in what needs to be done here at work.

back by popular demand...

so happy new year! *coughs* (takes a swig of nyquil)

*sigh*
in case you haven't heard as of friday, january 13 i no longer work at the regional hiv/aids consortium. in a toxic mix of funding issues, mismanagement, and general unhappiness... its the best move for me right now. i dont have any concrete plans, but im diligently applying for jobs and looking for odds and ends to pay the bills.

early tuesday morning, miriam left. it made me really sad. we didnt live like rock stars or anything while she was here, but i was so happy that she was with me. i was so content just sitting talking to her for hours. conversations like we used to have every day, but have been absent for months now. i miss her a lot. i hope she comes back more often, it feels better when we're together. and i want to meet this casey guy (aka miriam's sweet baboo, yes that's her in the picture). by the way, she's also now ranked like 3rd in the first year law school student class at florida state. i'm so proud.

one of my jr. world savers is quitting and that makes me sad. i've done a lot of damage control trying to keep the rest of the team from falling to pieces. i become very invested in them, not just as a program, but emotionally invested in them as individuals.

so with all of this chaos one might ask me how i can still champion the cause of optimism. well, mostly because i choose to. i believe part of being liberated includes exercising to the greatest extent possible, personal choice over all situations. i dont like the way it feels when i feel oppressed by my context, so i choose to have the power over it, and if i cant change or control it, i can change how i respond to it so that it doesnt make me sad. so do i totally sound like a self-help book or what? i'm ok with that. i believe there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and i this time, i dont think its a train.

news flash: t-nat is no longer in hiding. the cia/nsa/gop/etc. have been evaded.

and mccamy (the roommate) finally got her diamond ring. i'm trying to be a good person, she told me she was worried i'd be mad at her. i told her not to take it personally, i'm just bitter.

starting over

in the true spirit of the new year, i thought i’d post some resolutions. first honoring my favorite resolution-maker, bridget jones.

“1: uggg - will obviously loose 20 lbs. #2: always put last night's panties in the laundry basket. Equally important: will find nice sensible boyfriend and stop forming romantic attachments to any of the following: alcoholics, workoholics, sexaholics, commitment-phobics, peeping toms, megalomaniacs, emotional fuckwits, or perverts. Will especially stop fantasizing about a particular person who embodies all these things.”... (ok well maybe a sexaholic wouldn't be so bad... as long as he was faithful... ) :)


a few of my own resolutions… trying desperately to avoid things like “lose weight” and “find a boyfriend” (although those are always top of the list, i don’t want to set myself up for disappointment).

1. make financially responsible decisions
2. find a new job (and fast)
3. realize that i am not defined by my job
4. spend time volunteering for something i feel strongly about, but not related to work
5. realize i am not defined by relationship status
6. wash my face every night before bed
7. spend more time reading than watching tv
8. learn to stand up for myself and say no
9. be more physically active
10. make new friends

on an unrelated note... what will you do with your leap second?

happy new year everyone!

fo shizzle

new favorite website

enough said

(thanks to tlmc for this)