something even further down on the list--being the one to have to say it. it sucks. i can't be sure that all of the boys that have handed me the 'just friends' card in years past have gone through the emotional torment that i have, being the dealer this time. but having to tell someone that is a genuinely nice person, that despite their wonderful qualities, that you just dont see a dating relationship in the future is... its... ugh, it just makes me so sad. i feel like such a jerk. i hate confrontation in general. just ask tlmc. we avoided conflict until it was painful. so im wondering if me being sad is bad karma? or if its just because im over sensitive?on top of all that, last night i replied to my grandmother's 8th email of the day (the family regrets teaching her how to use a computer) warning me of the "life is beautiful virus [via powerpoint]", which followed the email asking me to put my name on the list and copy and paste the email and send it to all my friends for a 'kid's project for school', which came just an hour after the 'beware of lipstick that contain lead' email. i felt compelled to tell her that none of that stuff was true, i sent her a link to snopes.com and told her that we appreciated that she cared about us, our hard drives and the kid's school project so much, but that 99% of what she sends us just isn't true.
so now i feel like heather stewart--dream crusher. i deserve to be stoned to death. now i know why so many people lie, its much less painful.
5 comments:
Its painful because you care, not everyone does. In the long run aren't you really doing the kind thing by being honest and not misleading the boy and your grandmother who would inevitably find out the truth anyways after more investment on their parts? Honesty packaged with kindness is so much more compationate than selfish avoidance or a lie. I think karma will reward you in the future, and isn't punishing you now. I would guess most people appreciate your caring nature. I do :)
Here is a question for your readers...why is it that the ones we want dont want us and the ones that want us, we dont want? Are the fates playing some cruel joke on the world? Is life just a bad soap opera???
Miriam, I think in some twisted way people are protecting themselves by not wanting those who want them, and wanting those they can't have. Real true intimacy is scary stuff, especially by those of us who have been hurt deeply in the past.--ok I have been way too serious lately--Happy weekend everyone!
people always want what they cant have. if you want one... let him know he cant have you and then he will want you. of course then you wont want him. keep doing that untill you have a sappy dope that calls you every 2 hours and sends you letters and presents out of the blue, and you actually find it sweet instead creepy and stalkerish. then you got your man. and while your waiting for that feeling while sorting through all your suitors, remember,even if it dosent happen the first 10 times or 100 times, at least your in charge.
singned
the married man
On the plus side,
"Heather Stewart, Dream Crusher"
is one badass name and would look quite stylish on a business card.
Post a Comment