3 weeks ago, yesterday, next saturday. then i think im set until september. so many weddings. yesterday was luke's little brother's wedding. aaron and sunny are very cute. the wedding was short, personal and very informal. there was a lot of laughing and the crowd erupted into loud cheers as the newlyweds left the ceremony. it was great to see old high school friends and luke's family. it was however, a little awkward to babysit his girlfriend. usually i can count on luke to be my unattached date, we can quietly snark over free booze and sometimes he'd even let me drag him out on the dance floor. instead, i danced with luke's dad and the 4 year old ring bearer (he was a red-head, he didnt stand a chance).
so i was the oldest single gal out there to catch the bouquet. its like my loneliness was closing in on me from all angles. i graciously said my good-byes after the bride and groom left, slouched in the passat so no one would see me crying on the way home. its not even that i want to married, but with so many of my friends married, its hard sometimes. i'm just lonely living alone doesnt help either. if one more person tells me "it will happen when you least expect it" i think i might scream. i know this little project of mine is called optimism, but sometimes i cant help but look in the mirror and wonder what is wrong. i'm not a size 2, i dont put out on a first date and yeah, i have opinions about stuff. does that mean i'm unheartable?
thank god tlmc will be here soon.
3 comments:
i find you very heartable. Love you Friend, and miss you very much~
things always look more appealing on the other side of the fence, especially when everyone else seems to be over there already, I know how you feel, I also feel that way at times (and I'm much older by the way), I don't know you that well, but I know enough to know that surely there must be someone out there that will appreciate the fun-loving, bright, quick witted, caring and open you, so what do gals like you and me do, I think we either try not to think about it and focus on other things in our lives or get proactive
you are the most heartable person i know...
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