so i haven't been my normal optimistic self lately. i don't know if its the weather or holidays or looming finals or what. i have decided that i'm definitely not cut out to live alone. my roommate is gone a lot lately almost never spending the night here, when i leave for work its dark, when i come home its dark. all my friends are married or live hours away. my cell phone and instant messenger, my only connection to the outside world. not that i ever feel like being social anyway. i'm sad because i'm alone and too sad or tired to do anything about it. i have my first full size christmas tree since i was 11. its very festive, fun old family ornaments, star themed ones that were gifts from friends and a plethora of multicolored bows made from the ribbon that tied bridemaids' bouquets from all of the weddings i've been in the past year or so. i really should be working on my finals or helping murray address his christmas cards. the dishwasher is competing with friends in background. i just got off the phone with miriam, it was the highlight of my day! she can't get her soon enough. i'm also looking forward to my 2 week break from work. its been so disheartening lately. i spent an hour or so sobbing in my program director's office this afternoon. its a rough climate politically and i'm taking the fall out from it all pretty personally. it seems like no matter how hard i try, its never enough. she pointed out that i let too much of my personal value be dictated by other people. i know she's right, but i don't know what to do about it. tomorrow i'm spending most of the day working at the salvation army with my jr. world savers. maybe i can get my mind off things.
its weird... usually i'm the one talking friends out of similiar funks, but now its me. who will save me? maybe i'll just have some nyquil and curl up with my book.
hope to bring something more uplifting soon.
9 comments:
ok you live an hour away
hehe jr. world savers...I bet the americorp members love their new name
and don't be sad b/c soon finals will be over and even though you mentioned TLMC and not me I'll be home soon too and that will be happy
oh and Tripp you need to learn to be nicer, if you are going to comment you should only say nice things. Didn't your mother ever tell you "if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all"
aw, thanks sam. see, sam lives an hour away and she didnt get offended.
and yay for sam's tattoo, that's happy.
i'm taking myself and my book to bed now.
there is really no need for you to be such a butthead about what I said, I was merely commenting about your not niceness concerning Heather's sad post
As her friend isn't it your job to be nice and try to make her less sad face?
Oh and honestly the North Meck comment is probably more offensive to Miriam than to me considering she is the one who taught there. And as for Gardner-Webb since I'm leaving next year I really don't care what they teach.
yea well you deserved to be called a butthead b/c....you were being a butthead
again, aren't you and Heather friends? shouldn't you be nice to her and try to make her feel happy?
DUDE!! can't we all just get along??
hi miriam~
that would be nice...
hey, it's Tripp's fault that there was a conflict...I was just trying to defend Heather b/c he was being mean to her
whoa?!?!? are they opening a goat dairy in charlotte and i didn't know about it??? bravo harp!
that wasn't very nice of tripp to delete your comment. bah to him. what sort of not nice things was he calling you?
and i'm honored to be the "person you know in charlotte" in whatever sort of way you mean it. :) so whats the deal on the job? and you'll be happy to hear i'm drafting an more optimistic post
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