more than you care to know... part infinity.

<-- poached from fancy celeste.

1. first name? yes. oh you mean what is it? heather

2. were you named after anyone? my middle name (elizabeth) is shared by women on my maternal and paternal side. but the heather part, thats original.

3. when did you last cry? wow, thanks to zoloft, its been a while.

4. do you like your handwriting? sure

5. what is your favorite lunchmeat? anything in a moe's burrito

6. kids? god i hope not, or i mean, not yet. tlmc and i almost adopted a little foster kid off the news one night.

7. if you were another person, would you be friends with you? of course

8. do you have a journal? a little project called optimism

9. do you use sarcasm a lot? who me? never

10. do you still have your tonsils? yes

11. would you bungee jump? sure

12. what is your favorite cereal? honey nut cheerios

13. do you untie your shoes when you take them off? sometimes

14. do you think you are strong? i have my moments

15. what is your favorite ice cream flavor? me <-- not so much an ice cream fan

16. shoe size? 8.5ish

17. red or pink? red.

18. what is your least favorite thing about yourself? my forehead

19. who do you miss the most? pookie!

20. do you want everyone to send this back to you? I WANT COMMENTS!!!

21. what color pants and shoes are you wearing? eek! me <-- currently not wearing pants or shoes!

22. last thing you ate? fancy price's chicken coop

23. what are you listening to right now? loud birds outside

24. if you were a crayon, what color would you be? orange

25. favorite smell? the smell of fresh laundry on a boy

26. who was the last person you talked to on the phone? little amelia

27. the first thing you notice about people you are attracted to? smile

28. do you like the person who sent this to you? me <-- has crush on fancy celeste

29. favorite drink? alcoholic: margarita. virgin: sweet tea.

30. favorite sport? to watch: college football. to play: mind games.

31. eye color? poo

32. hat size? i did have the biggest cap size of my graduating high school class (ok so it was only 22 people so shoot me)

33. do you wear contacts? me <-- has fancy 20/15 vision

34. favorite food? mexican!

35. scary movies or happy ending? happy ending (still waiting on mine)

36. last movie you watched at the movies? the inside man

37. what color shirt are you wearing? green

38. summer or winter? um, i pick fall. so there.

39. hugs or kisses? me <-- famous for hugging, but i dont turn down either.

40. favorite dessert? chocolate anything.

41. what books are you reading? this page turner

42. what's on your mouse pad? fancy picture of tlmc and murray playing on my bed.

43. what did you watch on t.v. last night? emeril live on food network.

44. favorite sounds? ocean, laughter.

45. rolling stones or beatles? beatles

46. the furthest you've been from home? hawai'i

47. what's your special talent? being tone deaf.

48. when and where were you born? 5:57pm, presbyterian hospital, charlotte, nc.

49. who sent this to you? poached from fancy celeste.

self portrait a la camera phone

i'm obviously no where near as good at taking pictures of myself as fancy celeste, but i thought "practice makes perfect" right? hmm... this shot was just after getting my fancy hair cut. i'm not really sure what happened to the rest of my facial features. maybe i shouldnt be using 12 crest white strips a day.

the highlight of my day...errr.. night:
1:26am *phone rings*
me: "hello?"
mims (clearly inebriated): "HEY!"
me: "hey whats up?"
mims: "HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!"
me: "oh, well, i was sleeping"
mims: "oh, well thats good. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!"
me: (sleepy laugh) "ha, i was sleeping, what are YOU doing?"
mims: "oh im out having a drink after my exam. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!"
me: "umm..."
mims: "oh thats right, sleeping. i was thinking about yooouuuu! i miss yooooouuuu! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?!?!"
me: "i got my hair cut today"
mims (now more giggly): "awww... i bet its cute! i bet its short, but not too short and red but not too red"
me: "yeah, pretty much, im so predictable"
[short conversation about her pa]
mims: "ok well i was thinking about yooooouuuu! i miss you pookie!"
me: "i miss you too, good luck on the rest of your exams"
mims: "ok well go back to sleep."
me: "good night"

i love that girl.

<-- will never complain about the weather again

delhi, india:
Widespread Dust
108°F
Feels like: 104°F

charlotte, north carolina, usa:
Heavy Rain
54°F
Feels like: 54°F

gawd.

saturday, in the park ♪

i know its been a while since i posted. last week was sort of hellacious. my work week (even though it ended at 1:30pm on friday) still consisted of 53 hours. needless to say, i was exhausted.

so this weekend i headed down to atl. nate (a good friend from g-dubb) was in town for rio's wedding. i haven't seen him in a year and a half and since i'm going to his wedding in michigan this summer, i thought it would be a good chance to catch up. saturday morning i met him at his swank hotel in buckhead and we had breakfast. after i dropped him off, i hit tjmaxx and dsw to shop for a fancy derby party hat and shoes. silly celeste decided to go for a run. pffft. i eventually met up with fancy celeste and her two fancy-ish kiddos, affectionately, drag and drama. after a fancy tour of casa pout and a mini-gorge fest at moe's (drag fell to my influence when he got to pick where we were going for lunch, drama was in timeout wearing his darth vader mask). then i got to meet fancy ej. *grin* she was every bit as lovely and chipper as i imagined. we hugged (because we're the hugging type) and she called me "q.c." i love how the internet is bringing people together. ej has a fancy house, and tried to convince me to buy the one next door so she could mentor me through the remodeling process. silly world saver salary probably won't cut it. maybe if i ever get a fancy hott handy-man/husband type???...
back to casa pout to pay jason the painter (ok and spend 3 minutes gawking at his hottness) and then it was off to lemonade days a fun arts and craft show along side a kiddie carnival at brook run park in dunwoody. here are a few pictures i took of the fun afternoon. there was much ride riding, playing and general being hotness (like the oven, not like celeste--that's with 2 t's). oh and then there was the whining.

and the pouting, don't forget the pouting! it was quite a fun afternoon. celeste and i intended to relax without the jimmies and with some adult beverages that evening. she however went to bed, and i vegged out on the couch and the petro-krueger house with pizza and some cabernet.

sunday morning i met nate again for breakfast and rode with him on fancy marta to the airport. after the long drive back to the q.c., i picked murray up from daycare and spent the rest of my sunday trying to uploaded the pictures from the weekend. its a total fluke there aren't any pictures of me, or more importantly me and celeste. we'll work on that.

come away ♪

start by clicking here for the soundtrack to this post*

i love a three day weekend. friday i was able to do all of the productive stuff, you know, laundry, cleaning, bill paying. friday night i went out with jennifer (potential new roommate). it was interesting. she and i have very little in common. after dinner at brixx, we went to a new bar downtown called cans. we met up with some of her “not really cool, but loaded guy friends” self-proclaimedly to score free drinks. she insisted on leaving before they started to expect social interaction in exchange for gifts of adult beverages. after hopping around to a few other places, we ended up at latorre’s on my recommendation for a little latin dancing. while she hung closely to the bar, i took my chances on the dance floor. i can’t dance, i know that, but i was determined to enjoy myself and escape the evil free drink scoring plot.

of course i spent most of saturday recovering. lounging in bed until the early afternoon. in an effort to redeem myself, i did eventually make it to the gym around 3pm. luke had mentioned to me the evening before that he and some friends were hanging out at his house on the lake saturday afternoon and that “clee” would be playing. now normally i can’t hang with luke’s crowd. they’re much too “rockstar” for me. big parties, big money, late nights, and some other recreational activities that i don’t so much fit in with. they’re always very gracious and friendly. coming up to greet and hug me whenever i make it into brixx. i know they only like me because luke makes them, but im ok with that. so alone, i made my way up to the lake. i opted for only one adult beverage. it didn’t matter. i was in heaven. i plopped down in a folding camping chair just a few feet in front of my favorite band. the breezes rolled in off lake norman and i lost myself in the sunset. i’ve seen them many times in bars and venues around town and now they were putting on a show just for me. tim the drummer and clee the lead, even made a few comments directly to me. i didn’t care that the beautiful people were milling around, smoking cigarettes, being cool and beautiful. i was as content as i could be. after the show, clee gave me a free cd. i told him and luke that i wanted a private show for my birthday (i think this is plenty reasonable since so many of my friends got to have weddings, dammit, i deserve a party too). luke patted me on the head and i went home early, leaving the rockstars to their own lives.

check out the band

so betty

tlmc used to tell me that i could wear big jewelry because i had a big personality. hmm... not sure exactly how to take that. regardless, most of my collection is big and funky. so today i was feeling saucy--must be the warm weather... or the extra dose of allergy medicine i treated myself to this morning. so along with my very white button down shirt, black pants and favorite work shoes. i put on this little treasure. its made from kikui nuts. i bought it from an old man and his daughter camped on a secluded beach in kona hawaii. i wore it to stonewall, where one of the little darlings said i looked so betty. i said "thanks, i think". and he said "yeah for real like betty rubble from the flinstones". well, obviously he meant wilma. but whatever.

<-- not as good at taking fancy pictures of myself as fancy celeste.

could it be?

so i've been playing with the reverse stalking thing lately. and i've been getting visits from provo, utah. my heart fluttered. do you think it could be her?

monday monday, la la lalala♪

(hey look celeste! i put a music note there)

yay for murray for sleeping 8 hours last night! i'm sure glad that whole mess is behind us.

so this morning when i got to work, there were two suspicious pieces of mail in my box. "fema?!?! homeland security!?!? what on earth did i do now?!?!" was my initial response. evidently some training i completed when i first started my new fancy job, was part of a fema curriculum for "incident management systems". and i thought i was just doing my part to prepare for an avian flu (or hiv, whatever) epidemic. so i've been identified, branded, accepted and certified by homeland security! eek! i hope you all will still continue to love me. it was all so innocent. a little booklet on public health emergencies, a 25 question review test. *sniff*

this morning was full of all kinds of surprises. i also had to give a positive hiv result. yeah. he actually responded quite well, he wasnt surprised, his girlfriend of 12 years is positive but he just decided to get tested.

sorry. me <-- debbie downer

this evening i'm having "the talk" with said roommate. sigh.

i need a martini.

oh on a positive note. i was blessed with a visit from drag and drama and their hot mom yesterday. it was superfun! mostly celeste and i pieced together conversations about pedicures that should have been and our reverse stalking while playing referee as the kiddos ran about. i decided that the kids were a good distraction. since it was like we've been internet dating for months now and finally decided to meet, there was a lot of build-up. so now that all of the mystery is gone, i have to see if she still wants to "hang out". *fingers crossed*
<-- hoping for a second date

news flash

so this fancy news story happened less than a mile from my house today. road closings meant luke couldnt get here for murray's mid-day medicate/feed/potty time. he did eventually make it around 4:30pm. good thing i had class tonight, the roads opened up just 8 minutes before i left school. by then traffic was moving well. there are however still about 30 police cars on the scene.
<--careful not to speed

in other news: my brake light is stuck on (vw service man: "it happens just gotta flip a switch, i can fix it first thing tomorrow morning, we open at 7". me: "i'll be there at 6:45") . i fiddled around with the fuses, took out the one for the break and tail lights in an effort to preserve the battery until i can get to the vw dealer in the morning.

no follow-up on the yesterday's story that roommate can't pay her rent because her wedding is more important. i have put an add on craigslist.com but i'm currently begging tlmc to come home to me this summer.

murray update: murray is no longer on pain medicine. i do not suspect that he is in any pain, but the tranquilizing effects are certainly missed as weimaraners dont do well in confined areas.

thanks for tuning in.

doggone it

so most of you have probably heard via the broadcast emails that there's been a bit of drama lately. my dog murray (aka "the cutest puppy in the whole world") had to have surgery and a bit of a hospital stay this past weekend. it seems that murray swallowed several pieces of a "kong toy" (they claim to be indestructible and "safe for tough chewers"). this didn't go over so well with his digestive system. 4 days in the hospital, 60 staples and several thousand dollars later, he's finally home. he has to stay in his crate for 2 weeks and wear a lovely lampshade-like collar. murray wasn't particularly coordinated (he gets that from me) before, so he clumsily moves around when he comes out to eat, get his medicine or go potty. i'm suffering from sleep deprivation because has to have medicine in the middle of the night (read:2am), but i'm just glad my puppy is home. he's in good spirits and really enjoyed the get well card that kristina sent. i read it to him last night (he's not much of a reader) and he licked it! aww. i set it on the floor next to his crate so he can see it. i'm still accepting donations to cover the cost of surgery or if anyone would like to volunteer to puppysit so i can get some sleep, that also would be greatly appreciated. (this picture is from christmas, the poor guy has lost 13 pounds, but i do not however, suggest ingesting pieces of hard rubber as a method of weight control)

*update 3/30/06 10:34pm. murray would also like to thank beau cartee (of the jenny and heath cartee house) for the get well card.

in other news... something more uplifting. if anyone is in the qc this weekend and looking for something fun to do, my former jr. world savers have organized a sweeeet fundraiser in noda on saturday night. drum show, drag queens and poetry. what more could you want? hope to see you there.

i should get back to work.

the doctor is in

you know how people have certain patterns in life? well, mine seems to be that i either attract or am attracted to males (well people in general) with some sort of psychological dysfunction. lets see, there was pinochipaul (or rumplestiltspaul) the compulsive liar, psycho-seth, and narcissistic stephen. there are other more minor characters in the line-up, but these are definitely the highlights. new test of psychological soundness, am i your friend? if you said yes, chances are you need help.

so now i have some new men in my life. the boys at stonewall jackson youth development center. thats right, incarcerated, teenage boys. part of my job is doing hiv/aids prevention programming, education, tutoring, and mentoring with these little darlings. some of them i have grown pretty attached to already. they just crave positive attention. they just want someone to listen to them as they vent what they're thinking about. it makes me feel needed (insert my psychosis of choice) and they seem to genuinely appreciate the time to talk. if anyone ever wants to volunteer or just hang out with "my boys" you're definitely welcome. thanks to tlmc for pointing out that what i thought was being helpful was really just an extension of own disturbing relationship patterning.

spf 4

yeah, it really does help. i put it on my face and chest but not my arms and legs. for those of you who missed me, i was in orlando this week for a conference for work. these really smart conference planners let us out at 3:30 everyday so i had ample time by the pool tuesday, wednesday and thursday. fortunately, my boss is cool like that so we had um, a "mini staff retreat" on friday (read: drinks by the pool all day before our 7:30pm flight home) . it was not very fun carrying the laptop on the sunburned shoulders to the parking spot furthest from the clt airport, but falling up the last two stairs at home... that was just the perfect ending. time for bed, right after a cold shower and gallon of aloe.

lucky you, another quiz

70 THINGS YOU PROBABLY DON'T DO KNOW ABOUT ME:

(actually, there are only 68, someone cant count)

1. DO YOU SNORE?
nope

2. ARE YOU A LOVER OR A FIGHTER?
lover (read: avoider of all things of conflict)

3. WHAT ARE YOUR WORST FEARS?
the unknown

4. AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO MANIAC?
no, but my dad was an engineer, he was always trying to “help” me, it really turned me off from legos I think

whoever made this, left out #5

6. DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS?
always

7. WERE YOU A CUTE BABY
if by cute you mean bald.

8. IS THE SINGLE LIFE FOR YOU?
it doesn’t seem i have much of a choice.

9. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR KEYBOARD?
desktop=black, laptop=silver/black

10. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER?
yep

11. HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED?
no, but i often dream that i am

12. ANY SECRET TALENT?
do superhero superpowers count?

13. WHAT'S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT?
any beach (well thats realitively clean and unpopulated) ideally, kona, hawaii

14. IS JAY LENO FUNNY?
that’s past my bedtime

15. CAN YOU SWIM?
yep

16. HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THE MOVIE "DONNIE DARKO"?
nope

17. DO YOU CARE ABOUT THE OZONE?
yep

18. HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE POP?
i don’t like tootsie rolls

19. CAN YOU SING THE ALPHABET BACKWARDS?
it’s the sing part that rules me out

20. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ON AN AIRPLANE?
mostly "in" it, not "on" it.

21. ARE YOU AN ONLY CHILD?
yep, can you tell?

22. DO YOU PREFER ELECTRIC OR MANUAL PENCIL SHARPENERS?
i prefer mechanical pencils

23. WHAT'S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING?
boo!

24. IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE?
*fingers crossed*

25. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING
sure why not

26. WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO?
bee stings, mean people.

27. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID, "I LOVE YOU "?
this morning to murray

28. IS ELVIS STILL ALIVE?
on my favorite christmas ornament

and # 29

30. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS?
scramled, over well or deviled

31. ARE BLONDES DUMB?
ß too many blonde friends to answer.

32. WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK END UP?
as lint in the dryer filter

33. WHAT TIME IS IT?
time for you to buy a watch.. ooooo

34. DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME(s)?
i prefer “superhero allias”, the condom fairy, also qc, and heath

35. IS MCDONALD'S DISGUSTING?
wouldn’t know havent eaten there in like 5 years

36. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR?
about 3 hours ago

37. DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS?
i don’t discriminate bathing practices

38. IS SANTA CLAUS REAL?
yep, saw him at the mall a few months ago

39. DO YOU LIKE TO HAVE YOUR NECK KISSED?
very much

40. ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK?
only when its light inside, and dark outside

41. WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO?
sleep

42. CRUNCHY OR CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER?
i don’t eat peanut butter

43. CAN YOU CRACK YOUR NECK?
no, but i can crack tlmc’s (that sounded so dirty)

44. HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN AN AMBULANCE?
nope

45. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BRUSHED YOUR TEETH TODAY?
twice (its 11am)

46. IS DRUG FREE THE WAY TO BE?
no way! better living through chemicals!

47. ARE YOU A HEAVY SLEEPER
not at all

48. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES?
brown (the color of poo)

50. DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE?
sure, right now (now don’t make me sad!)

51. WHOSE LIFE IS BETTER?
than mine?

52. ARE YOU PSYCHIC?
no, but i do have espn.

54. DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS?
vocal cord

55. HAVE YOU EVER STOLEN MONEY?
don’t believe so

56. DO YOU LOVE SOMEBODY?
you!

57. DO YOU LIKE SOMEONE YOU KNOW YOU SHOULDNT?
not currently, but i definitely have

58. DO U SNORT WHEN U LAUGH?
occassionally (don’t lie, you do too)

59. DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?
yep

60. ARE DOGS A MAN'S BEST FRIEND?
that question is too sexist to answer

61. YOU BELIEVE IN DIVORCE?
well, i know it to be real (product of it) but its not a fun thing

62. CAN YOU DO THE MOONWALK?
pfft

63. DO YOU MAKE A LOT OF MISTAKES?
only in spelling and relationships

64. IS IT COLD OUTSIDE TODAY?
its colder in this office than it is outside

65. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE
a banana

66. DO YOU WEAR NAIL POLISH?
not usually

67. HAVE YOU EVER STAYED UP ALL NIGHT
tlmc’s 21’st birthday

68. WHAT'S THE MOST ANNOYING TV COMMERCIALS?
um, i’m too easily amused to find them annoying i guess.

69. DO YOU SHOP AT AMERICAN EAGLE?
nope

70. FAVORITE BAND AT THE MOMENT?
rubber

easy like sunday morning

to put to rest your worries that i would not be posting anymore, it was merely a threat, in hopes that tee would post... obviously, it didnt work.

well its week two of 'insanity at 0-500 hours'. and yes, i managed to get to the gym 6 times last week. impressive huh? saturday i didnt get there until 8, but thats because they dont open until then. slackers. but, by noon i had been to the gym, to the grocery store and got a new toilet installed. man what a busy morning! ok *the following is for female readers only, so if you're male or easily skeeved out by talks of feminine hygiene, please proceed to the next paragraph.* do not, under any circumstances, flush a tampon applicator. even if it says its flushable. it is not! i dropped $300 on a new toilet (oh add another $150 for the two times before that i had it augered). dont ask how or why, just trust me. true, owning a house means signing up for a lifetime of unexpected expenses, but some of them are preventable. thank you. this public service annoucement has been brought to you by roger the plumber. oh and according to roger, the only thing that breaks toilets more than tampon applicators is little toy cars.

now back to regular programming.
i would like to take this opportunity to endorse some of my favorite things. i have recently turned several friends onto products, services, and what not. that have now become so integrated into my life, i feel obligated to give them a little shout out.
1. ipod. duh.
2. bare escentuals. (converts: jennifer mills, jane ellis, tlmc and celeste... and growing)
3. threading.
4. lost. a must see for every conspiracy theorist
5. new favorite recipe.
6. welcome to moe's!
7. footgasm.
8. jenny cartee pottery.

an update on my new year's resolutions.
1. financially responsible decisions--check! now only eating out twice a week or less, new shorter commute cut gas bill to one-third, will not buy clothes until april
2. new job--yep!
3. realize that i am not defined by my job--so true, i love my new job, but it no longer takes over my life.
4. volunteering--still working on that (this of course was directly related to being unemployed)
5. relationship status--boy this has been a real roller coaster lately, but i've learned a lot about myself. this time is for me.
6. washing my face--so far in 2006, i have only not done this 3 times.
7. spend more time reading than watching tv--i have definitely picked up books more in the past 3 months than i did in the past 3 years. but i'm still addicted to the food network.
8. saying no--wow, this proved to be harder than i thought. especially in the relationship department, but i am starting to realize it was the right thing, even if i do feel crappy about it (he's still not speaking to me btw)
9. get physical!--eek! obviously suffering from psychosis (see above)
10. make new friends--this has taken off more than i could imagine.

the right to be ignorant

i read this disturbing article on msn. i can't say that i'm at all surprised though. i'll spare you the rant about how dumb americans are, but rather gloat that i got both questions right.

who knew?

ok so some of you have commented that my last post wasn't exactly the feel-good-post-of-the-year. i appreciate your kind words and support, so i thought i'd post something a little more uplifting.

sunday i joined peak fitness. (when you stop laughing i'll continue)...

waiting...

...ahem

anyway, i got up this morning at went to the gym at 5am. crazy i know! but i enjoyed it. besides a little tightening in my calves, i'm feeling pretty good. because celeste inspires me with her pictures i thought i'd share this one.

its a real book too. i'm not really moving anywhere, but its for the visual effect.

karma, is that you?

more times than i care to recount, i've been on the receiving end of the "let's just be friends conversation". its probably one of my least favorite things in the whole world. but now, there is something even further down on the list--being the one to have to say it. it sucks. i can't be sure that all of the boys that have handed me the 'just friends' card in years past have gone through the emotional torment that i have, being the dealer this time. but having to tell someone that is a genuinely nice person, that despite their wonderful qualities, that you just dont see a dating relationship in the future is... its... ugh, it just makes me so sad. i feel like such a jerk. i hate confrontation in general. just ask tlmc. we avoided conflict until it was painful. so im wondering if me being sad is bad karma? or if its just because im over sensitive?

on top of all that, last night i replied to my grandmother's 8th email of the day (the family regrets teaching her how to use a computer) warning me of the "life is beautiful virus [via powerpoint]", which followed the email asking me to put my name on the list and copy and paste the email and send it to all my friends for a 'kid's project for school', which came just an hour after the 'beware of lipstick that contain lead' email. i felt compelled to tell her that none of that stuff was true, i sent her a link to snopes.com and told her that we appreciated that she cared about us, our hard drives and the kid's school project so much, but that 99% of what she sends us just isn't true.

so now i feel like heather stewart--dream crusher. i deserve to be stoned to death. now i know why so many people lie, its much less painful.

cinders and ashes

so i’ve been catching a lot of flack for being such a slack poster. project optimism has even cleverly been renamed ‘project neverposting’ be tee. what can i say, i’m bland and boring. i do have a new favorite website. what did we do before we couldn’t know everything whenever we wanted? i am pretty excited about the new kicks though. cute and comfy (well as cute as can be expected on a hall where everyone else but me wears scrubs everyday).

i continue to enjoy my new job. eventually you don’t even notice the screams from young children down the hall getting their early childhood immunizations. i don’t suppose you never get used to hearing gossip about how the owner of the local italian restaurant is getting treated for tuberculosis. no one here eats there anymore.

sunday afternoon while i was demonstrating my keen procrastinating skills, i stopped on tnt to watch die hard with a vengeance. samuel l. jackson and bruce willis are so badass. my favorite part was definitely enjoying the creative ways they (whoever ‘they’ are) had dubbed over the movie’s ‘too obscene for network tv’ lingo. my favorite being the several times that samuel refered to bruce as a “white racist melon farmer”. melon farmer! ha! still makes me laugh. what a nicer place the world would be if people would use words like that. hats off to thomas the tank engine for providing me with my second favorite set of by-words, ‘cinders and ashes’. next time you want to express your extreme dissatisfaction with a person or situation, try one of those on for size.

things that make you go hmmm...?

so the first full week at the new job was great. i really heart it there. and i got word on friday that they are going to paint my purple cave sometime next week. i do miss having a window and i'll definitely be investing in some comfortable and practical shoes soon. working in the communicable disease clinic part of the health department has resulted in some very interesting conversations. i imagine that most people dont get to hear what i hear on a daily basis. let me share a few examples.

scene one: front desk, in broken english/spanish
nurse: "and your social security number ma'am?"
patient: [something in spanish]
nurse: "oh you dont have one, no problem"

scene two: std pre-test counseling session
me: "do you have a primary or main partner"
patient: "yeah i'm married"
me: "how many partners have you had in the last 6 months?"
patient: "um, like at least 4 maybe"
me: "are your partners male, female or both?"
patient: "umm... both"
me: "do you use protection?"
patient: "uhh if i did, would i be here?"

i think my favorite part of my job is definitely going to be working at stonewall jackson youth development center. i'll be there about 10 hours a week, doing hiv/std prevention programming, tutoring and mentoring. they remind me a lot of my stepbrother (rip). very different from the kids at north meck, or you fancy science and math school kids. they may have sorted pasts, but they just want some positive attention. i think its cool.

i should also mention that tuesday is single people's oppression day. celebrate by wearing all black, drink yourself silly with your other single friends and of course, make snide comments to your annoyingly in love friends.

thats all i can muster for now. the crappy winter weather is sucking the will to create right out of me.

crash

so clearly i scandalized the blogging community, or at least the 3 of you, when i mentioned said "cute boy" in my last post. lest anyone be deceived that a nice, decent, guy actually be interested in me, said "cute boy" will hereby be referred to as "mean boy 562986" in that the day following his chivalrousness, he sent an email professing his undying disinterest. fear not, i will return to being the same boring, old spinster that you know and heart.

im still trying to pick myself up. as you could imagine. friday was quite a high for me. and somewhere around 6:30pm yesterday i crashed, hard. against the advisement of tlmc and at the astonishment of celeste, i was able to pull myself together and compose a brief and rather genial email, thanking mean boy 562986 for his time and his honesty and wishing him well. it did go through several drafts, which celeste pointed out where the real healing is. tlmc thought that i should go with anger, a much healthier emotion in her opinion, but its just not one im really able to tap into. and then she said the sweetest thing, "if a person is going to have a flaw, being nice is probably the best one to have". and tlmc probably knows me better than anyone, so that meant a lot.

im determined to get my taxes done today, with the help of turbo tax, figure out how to take back what is mine. i will allow myself one frivolous purchase, and the rest goes in savings. i'm thinking this might have to be a new dvd player, seeing as i dont think i get as much out of my new workout video when i have to stop 5 times to reset it.

on with the day.

currently listening: fiona apple, extraordinary machine